Unexpected Session
by magicmumu
Summary: "What can I do for you?" "My wife is stalking me." "Excuse me?" Archie councels Emma through an unexpected side effect of pregnancy. Swan Queen


Unexpected Session

by Erin Griffin

Fanom: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: established Swan Queen, Archie Hopper

Summary: "What can I do for you?" "My wife is stalking me." "Excuse me?"

For my own crazy wife.

Archie Hopper was just about to put a kettle on the stove to warm up after a long walk with Pongo, when there was a frantic knock on his door, which had startled him. He had thought that after the curse had broken, there would have been no need for his services, but he was wrong. His wasn't the only tragic story in The Enchanted Forest, and as far as the therapist could tell, Regina had done a lot of them a service when she had trapped them in Storybrooke. He thought that maybe it was one of his patients to speak with him, or Leroy, who had stopped drinking with Archie as a sponsor of sorts. He was further surprised when he saw Emma Swan there.

"Mrs. Mills?" he asked.

"Swan-Mills," she corrected, as she always did, even though it wasn't what had been on the marriage license.

"Right," Archie said slowly, moving back to allow the woman enterance into his home. Pongo jumped up from his dog bed and greeted Emma. Though it wasn't as enthusiastic as his greeting for Regina or even Henry, he was as friendly as he was with any other client. "So… What brings you here?"

"My wife is stalking me."

"Excuse me?"

Emma pat Pongo on the head and then went to Archie's couch and flopped down on it. Archie waited for a moment, closing the door when it looked like his dog was going to make a break for it. He then went to the chair facing her. "It was cute at first. We just found out that the fourth insemination had took, and she was so happy. She'd touch my belly and watch me do the most mundane things. But now…"

"Has this behavior increased?"

"Increased?" Emma scoffed. "I'll say! She won't leave me alone. Even when I am at work she has gone all Big Brother on me. I came here because- no offence- this is the last place she would think to find me."

Archie nodded slightly, though he was a little stung. "None taken," he said a little stung.

"I can't even seem to talk to people who aren't female without her somehow finding out and coming to my rescue. She is worse than Ruby when someone flirts with Lacey- er Belle," she said. Archie remembered when Ruby and Belle had begun dating. The full moon wasn't a great time to be around either woman. Archie again nodded. "I can't go on lock down, which I am sure she would like. She just watches me all the time now. It isn't like I haven't been pregnant before…"

"Well…" Archie adjusted his glasses on his nose and tilted his head slightly in thought, "It is true that you haven't been pregnant before, but Regina has never been through a pregnancy before. He got Henry after everything else. I think she just needs to know that everything will be okay. Most first time coparents are like this through a pregnancy because they worry about being good parents, but we already know that Regina is. My suggestion to you would be to remind her of this. Give her things to do, keep her informed of the process and in step with everything, even if you think it is silly."

"Maybe…"

Archie stood up and went to a shelf. "Here. Give her this. It is a step by step book on pregnancy, though we all know each pregnancy is different. Let her be apart of all of it. This might be the best time to get her to give you massages or cook your favorite meals, or anything like that, just don't over do it. If you need too many back rubs she will worry and start her watch o you again, I think… Keep her mind on the baby and not on you, and maybe she will ease up a little bit."

Emma looked up at Archie as she looked over the back and front covers of the book she had in her hand. She could already see that it was a bit outdated- say almost 30 years old, like all of the books in Storybrooke, but it seemed like it may actually fit for them. She sighed and then she shifted so that she could stand. "Thanks Doc. That is… actually some really good advice." Her phone went off, and she shrugged. "Gotta take this or she will flip if I let it go to voicemail."

"Good luck," Archie said as he watched Emma leave,a phone to her ear as she tried to placate her wife. He sighed himself and closed to door to the noisy world once more. Then he went back into the kitchen to start his tea.


End file.
